Save the Dog
On a calm spring day, I look out the window of my house (which is an amalgamate of my actual house and my parent’s house) towards the back yard and notice the sky has become very dark all of the sudden. Without warning, a monstrous black tornado drops from the sky and proceeds to thrash trees apart like they are toothpicks. It is barreling towards the house. For a second I think about loading up the dog into the car and driving away, but the tornado is moving too fast.
I yell for the dog and she comes to me. We run downstairs for shelter underneath the landing that leads down into the garage. I throw the lawnmower, throw the blower, throw every piece of junk I have stashed under there out into the garage and yank the mutt under with me. The walls of the house vibrate and groan deeply as the tornado cuts into the structure. I hear all kinds of cacophony for a brief minute or two and then everything just stops. It’s over.
I release my kung-fu grip on the pup and walk outside; the garage door is now conveniently open for us. It’s sunny now, the rain has stopped; only a swath of light gray remains in the sky. My roof is torn to hell and back, it basically doesn’t exist anymore. I no longer have a car. Evidently I still drive the 90′ LeBaron I had back in high school because there it is, parked in the driveway with a tree on it. Nice.
I’m then magically teleported to a most appealing car rental establishment in the midst of a random ghetto where I’m trying my damnedest to find some kind of wiring harness to go with the car I have just rented. It’s a beaut of a car: 70′s era Crown Vic, pearl white finish, white wall tires, plush velvety purple interior. No dice on the mirror though. I was kind of disappointed by that. Its best feature was the remote control that unlocked the doors. A simple unlock button was not good enough for this rig, no, it had a full on joystick control instead. Up for the hood, down for the trunk, left for the driver’s side door, right for the passenger’s. I toyed with this contraption for a minute, pondered what the hell I was doing, and then woke up.